When a woman's fancy turns to bicycles

Toronto is stuck solidly in March and yet, it feels like we have already sprung into May. When the temps are this warm and sublime, it’s hard not to think about … bicycling.

As a kid, the first warm day of the year meant freedom - the joy of climbing onto a bicycle and tearing down the street, sucking in great gulps of sweet spring air. In those days, my ride was a baby-blue CCM bicycle that my father had bought me at the Canadian Tire at Queensway and Islington. It sat in the veranda of our house at 34 Morgan Avenue in Etobicoke. Nobody worried about squirreling it away in the garage or locking it up.

It was on that blue CCM that I first tasted the heady independence of mobility, free to go wherever I wanted – as long as I didn’t go past Norseman Street and made it home in time for supper. There was something so magical about riding through the neighbourhood – everything looked, sounded and smelled different from my perch on the bicycle. The dandelions pouted at me with their bright yellow faces, my wheels ground away at the asphalt, and the light, musky smell of young grass tickled my nose.

“Where is the wonder that I used to know?” That’s a line from one of my favourite songs by Dion McGregor and Mike Barr. These days, bicycling is a serious matter that is debated in government halls, not the carefree harbinger of spring of my youth. It’s a controversial subject, not kid stuff. Who has the right of way on the road? Do bicycles belong on sidewalks? What kind of lock works best?

But I don’t care. I’ve been cruising the bicycle shops because the itch is in me. I want to rekindle the deep joy of powering along the road on just two wheels instead of four, riding under my own steam, pedalling by a creek where the flowers are just starting to wake up from a winter slumber.

Today, bikes sure cost a lot more than they used to, but the technology has improved by leaps and bounds. I was tickled to see that there are touring bicycles now for women like me that look a LOT like my old CCM. It was hard not to buy the first one I leapt on, it felt so exhilarating to pedal along Queen Street!

Somewhere, there’s a bicycle with my name on it. And even though it’s been a long time since I lived at 34 Morgan Avenue, I know I’ll still relish the delight, the delicious feeling of abandoning myself to two wheels … instead of four …

Dart Girl stole my act

Way back in 1992, when Chrysler introduced the flamboyant Dodge Viper at the Toronto auto show (as it was then called), they had a correspondingly bootylicous Viper Girl. She matched the machine curve for curve, and strutted her blonde buxom stuff all around the Viper podium. It was full-on sex, sizzle and damn the torpedoes.

What fun, I told my friends, with a tinge of jealousy. The only car I could ever hope to represent was my 1973 Dodge Dart Swinger – practical, comfortable, unpretentious and reliable – just like me. If ever there was a casting call for females to schill a sensible vehicle, that would be right up my alley. I could be the Dodge Dart Girl. I was only kinda joking.

Fast forward to the Canadian International Auto Show, 2012. One of the vehicles generating major buzz was the 2013 Dodge Dart. Yes, Chrysler had resurrected the Dart name for its latest model entry, its first compact sedan in seven years, and one that would battle the Ford Focus and Chevy Cruze.

Standing next to the Dart was a curvaceous young lady clad in tight black pleather, tossing her hair, turning this way and that, working her statuesque charms on a phalanx of photographers (see above left). She was no less than … a Dart Girl!

And the new Dart? Hardly my simple, honest and unpretentious model of 1973. It took its styling cues from other resurrected names like Charger and Challenger, and drew more on the muscle variants of the Dart. Which would explain the presence of the shapely Dart Girl, and her multiple “booth babe” counterparts.

I mean, they never even called me for an audition! Well, that’s okay. Would I be comfortable poured into black pleather? More likely, I'd trip over something and do a face plant in the hood. That's the only time anyone would be game to take my photo. And it's pretty unlikely anyone would be buying what I'd be hawking.

But if they ever bring back the Valiant … !            

What's Vladimir Putin made of?

Vladimir Putin may be the most colourful and scary Russian leader since the cold war. The current prime minister and alleged president-elect, Vlad has come under criticism for rigging elections, strafing small post-Soviet republics and even poisoning journalists. 

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. A former KGB agent, Putin is a self-styled badass. He’ll tackle forest fires head-on, flying a jet into the flames and beating them into submission. He’s shot a rampaging tiger – and then measured its teeth for good measure. 

Is there anything this crazy Russkie won’t do for macho kicks?

Take a look at what Vlad drives. For starters, he took a bright yellow Renault Formula One racecar out for a spin, apparently reaching speeds of up to 240 clicks.  

A testosterone-stoked Lada Niva 4 x 4 is his daily driver – Vlad’s has a grille guard, winch and snorkel, for off-roading in Siberia. 

In fact, Vlad is such a slamming alpha dog that he drives a Harley trike and hangs out with biker gangs. They’re probably afraid to say “nyet” to the gun-toting black belt karate master.

But sometimes the ride is less than smooth for Russia’s number one son. A Lada Granta sedan refused to co-operate with Vlad in a not-so-carefully staged publicity video. Those Lada engineers were probably sweating with every crank of the key! 

Alpha male Vlad is a prime example of “you are what you drive.” The powerful vehicles he chooses to drive match his bare chest for sheer muscle. They’re as much a part of his image as any political rhetoric and campaigning. Vlad’s brawn and cast-iron biceps have to be reflected in everything he does to maintain his cast-iron leadership. You’ll never see this guy in a Yaris.

Too bad.

Chicks and sticks

This year marks the Queen of England’s Diamond Jubilee – the old girl has been at the helm of England for six decades, maintaining implacable reserve through turbulent social and political change.

And yet, she drives a stick. In this video, she’s seen on her way to the kennel in her trusty Range Rover, shifting gears. With her left hand, yet. You’d think after sixty years, she’d prefer to drive an automatic. But no, the Queen prefers a manual.

But what’s good enough for royalty isn’t good enough for the rest of us. Only about five per cent of cars sold in the U.S. have standard transmissions, and the death of the manual transmission has been predicted for years now. Is it really an endangered species? 

Using a manual can contribute to better fuel economy, if it’s used properly. In Europe, where fuel is only a little less expensive than pink diamonds, most cars have a manual transmission. Also, cars with a manual gearshift generally cost less, and are easier to repair. Those are the practical aspects.

Driving with a gearshift is more complicated – at first. That’s what usually scares people away. While it does require more concentration and focus, after a while it becomes second nature. Still, a driver can’t drive a stick and use a cellphone at the same time, since both hands have to be engaged or the car simply stalls.

That’s why this Sacramento tv station touted the stick as a great way to combat distracted driving. Although their study was hardly scientific, the news report (is that Ellen Degeneres’ girly sister?) showed that their Facebook page was positively buzzing with stick-friendly posts.

And the multi-tasking nature of driving stick means that women are in fact better suited to it. A UK study in 2005 showed that estrogen affects the brain’s frontal lobes, increasing mental flexibility and the ability to switch from one task to another. This, in turn, would indicate that women would be better with manual transmissions than men!

Still, articles touting the masculine nature of driving standard abound on the internet.

To that, we can only ask – where is the vid of Prince Philip driving stick?

Prius C - game changer?

It may be premature to call the 2012 Toyota Prius C the best thing since pre-sliced bagels, but it may just be The Little Car That Could.

For starters, priced at about $20,000.00, it’s the lowest-priced and first truly affordable gas-electric hybrid. Its official mileage in the city is 2.8L/100 K, or 53 mpg to those who still don’t get metric. Since the Honda Civic hybrid lawsuit in the U.S., we’re skittish on official mileage figures, but this seems promising.

Is Toyota the only car-maker who has figured out something that others are missing? There’s a whole generation of car buyers out there who are not exactly in love with the traditional internal combustion engine – they’re not romantically attached to muscle cars or overpowered Italian designer buggies. The charmingly named Generation Y cut their teeth on the three “R’s” – reduce, reuse, recycle. To a lot of them, the internal combustion engine is a planet killer.

For the first time in generations, rites of manhood do not include a driver’s license – but rather, an iPhone. According to a Deloitte LLP survey “the smartphone has replaced the car as the ultimate mobile device.” So Gen Y wants 1. an affordable car 2. that doesn’t pollute and 3. they can plug their phone into.

Enter the Prius C. The base model comes standard with a 3.5 inch information screen, Bluetooth, automatic climate control plus USB and iPod connectivity, features that you don’t usually find in a $20,000 car.

Sold in Japan as the Aqua, Toyota allegedly received about 120,000 orders for it between the December 26 release date and January 31, or about 10 times its monthly sales target.

Not everyone is impressed with the Prius C. It’s been derisively referred to as a hybrid Yaris, underpowered and sluggish, and plasticky inside. Some kvetch that the base model doesn’t come with heated seats. Others complain that it doesn’t look enough like a Prius!

The fact is, the same Deloitte LLP study found that 57 percent of Gen Y prefer a hybrid-gasoline car. There are currently 80 million Gen Y in the U.S. – the biggest consumer group since the Baby Boomers. The Boomers fell in love with horsepower happy cars like Mustangs, Hummers and exotic rocketcars. If the auto industry wants to survive, they better start pandering to Gen Y – they’re going to be the game-changers.

I drive like a tour bus driver

Boston is 60 per cent landfill, and its 50-acre green space, the Boston Common, was the first park in the United States. The hallowed ground of Fenway Park, its baseball stadium, is the oldest Major League baseball stadium still in use. And the term "hooker" originated in Boston, after a general who liked to make sure his soldiers were really looked after.

This and other fascinating facts about Boston are relayed on a daily basis by Ed, the Boston tour bus driver, while he is simultaneously driving and dodging Boston traffic, bicyclists and pedestrians as well as carrying on conversations with the passengers. Boston is not exactly the easiest town for driving, let alone driving a honking big bus, conducting a tour, chatting with passengers and occasionally filling out tour tickets.

There are 21 stops on this tour that traverse Boston’s famously tangled streets, where intersections have no right angles, and traffic lights operate with whimsy. It is a glorious city for walking, as the scenery is picturesque and peppered with quaint buildings. Walkers can take in the country’s first walking tour, the Freedom Trail, and discover 16 historical sites over two or three hours, covering about 150 years of American history. Of course, this is best done in the spring and not in February, when cold and snow can hamper your enjoyment of Americana.

But traffic could be worse. Before the aptly named “Big Dig”, which cost about $22 billion, there was an elevated central artery that was hastily constructed as a way to ease congestion. After all, when Boston was built in the 1700s, the roads were designed for livestock, not four-wheeled vehicles. In the 1960s, plans began for an underground expressway to be built under the elevated highway – while the highway was still in business. Traffic now moves over a bridge and through four underground lanes. It only took four decades.

But back to Ed. He stops the bus abruptly for a jaywalker, and shares his theories on pesky pedestrians. He doesn't think that Boston's one dollar fine for jaywalking is enough, and believes that instead of being ticketed, police should confiscate jaywalkers' shoes for at least an hour. While in police custody, the shoes would be coded – so that at the next offence, police would know to hang on to the shoes for TWO hours.

That’s almost as delicious as the clam chowder at Legal Seafoods.

Just in time for Valentine's Day

Starting this month, Cupid himself is livening up the commute on Boston’s T subway system. That’s right - if a sexy straphanger catches the eye of a lovelorn passenger, they can just snap a pic with their smartphone and post it to the BostonTcrush website. And maybe eventually connect with the object of their affection for future adventures.

Brought to Boston by the folks behind London’s TubeCrush and New York’s SubwayCrush, the pics are shared on the website complete with date, name of the route, and a snappy write-up.

Naturally this one was dreamed up by the Brits, who always seem to have the good ideas first. Once you start surfing the site, it’s hard to stop. We like this entry:

  

"Every inch of this guy is hot – look at him!  Tall, dark, and handsome is personified in its best form before our very eyes. From his preppy, fluffy hair down to his penny loafers, this guy is perfection."

Anyone can go in and rate the dreamboats with a thumbs up or thumbs down. It started when a bunch of friends were watching a British TV show where women rated men based on their looks. One of the women whipped out her smartphone with a pic of a hottie she’d spied on the London tube – and TubeCrush was born.

So far, only men are being targeted with Cupid’s smartphone, which is fine by us. If anyone wants to have their photo removed, they just need to ask. There are very strict rules on privacy included in the FAQ . The next steps are to eventually post women’s photos and also develop a means for the photographers and the photographees to connect.

Folks can interact with the site using Twitter or Facebook -- which just goes to show there are all kinds of ways transit and social media can co-exist in a happy partnership.

This is just a marvelous way of making commuting a little more fun and upping the happy quotient for taking the subway. People might even want to take the subterranean way, regardless of how crowded and noisy it is. We just hope this concept doesn't fall into the hands of that devillish Mayor Ford, who might use it to push his own questionable subway agenda. But then - wouldn’t it be lovely if this came to Toronto? Can you imagine?